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"Living My Best Squirrel Life" Stop paying for a gym membership and move into this 2BD/2BA luxury bird’s nest. This 2-story retreat features a wood-burning fireplace, perfect for romantic vibes or your "distressed Victorian orphan" aesthetic and sweeping valley views that let you judge your neighbors’ landscaping from a safe, superior distance. The layout is "bright and inviting" (real-estate speak for "buy blackout curtains"), offering the perfect spot to look a crow in the eye and feel like an equal. Enjoy summers at the pool and fall walks on the trails until you remember nature has bugs and retreat to the AC. Call today for a showing! (Please wear sensible shoes—we’re headed to the treetops.)
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